Salticid Spider Bollocks

The "information sheet" below was forwarded to my e-mail this afternoon. The person who forwarded it to me did so as a joke, but apparently it has taken some people in:

Really terrifying

Three women turned up at hospitals over a 5-day period, all with the same symptoms.
Fever, chills, and vomiting, followed by muscular collapse, paralysis and finally, death..

There were no outward signs of trauma.

Autopsy results showed toxicity in the blood. These women did not know each other and seemed to have nothing in common. It was discovered, however, that they had all visited the same Restaurant (Olive Garden , Western Cape ) within days of their deaths. The Health Department descended on the restaurant , shutting it down. The food, water, and air conditioning were all inspected and tested, to no avail.
The big break came when a waitress at the restaurant was rushed to the hospital with similar symptoms. She told doctors that she had been on vacation, and had only went to the restaurant to pick up her check.

She did not eat or drink while she was there, but had used the restroom
That is when one toxicologist, remembering an article he had read, drove out to the restaurant, went into the restroom and lifted the toilet seat

Under the seat, out of normal view, was a small spider. The spider was captured and brought back to the lab, where it was determined to be the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata), so named because of its reddened flesh color. This spider's venom is extremely toxic, but can take several days to take effect. They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere..

Several days later a lawyer from Jacksonville showed up at a hospital emergency room. Before his death, he told the doctor, that he had been away on business, had taken a flight from Indonesia , changing planes in Singapore , before returning home He did NOT visit (Olive Garden), while there. He did (as did all of the other victims) have what was determined to be a puncture wound, on his right buttock. Investigators discovered that the flight he was on had originated in India .
The Civilian Aeronautics Board (CAB) ordered an immediate inspection of the toilets of all flights from India and discovered the Two-Striped Telamonia (Telamonia dimidiata) spider's nests on 4 different planes!
It is now believed that these spiders can be anywhere in the country.
So please, before you use a public toilet, lift the seat to check for spiders. It can save your life!




And please pass this on to everyone you care about.

Aww, look! It's a salticid! Innit cute?

I find it fitting that I am writing this post in Australia - which, as we all know, is the spiritual home of all toilet-seat lurking spiders. Not surprisingly, this particular story is total bollocks. And according to Snopes, it's ancient bollocks - this story has been floating about the interweb since 1992, albeit with the occasional variation to where exactly it's supposed to have taken place. Snopes also notes that the "Civil Aviation Board" referred to garbledly in the e-mail hasn't been in existence since 1984. I noticed the problem with "They live in cold, dark, damp climates, and toilet rims provide just the right atmosphere.." Ummm, a toilet-seat isn't a damp climate at all - quite the opposite - and any spider wanting to occupy the damp space under the rim is going to want to have invested in some scuba gear any time anyone flushes.

I'll put this simply ('scuse caps) - THERE ARE VERY FEW SPIDERS THAT CAN HARM YOU. Of those spiders that can harm you (and Telamonia dimidiata - scroll down a bit if you click the link - ain't one of them), even fewer of them are likely to come into contact with you. "Toxic" is not necessarily the same as "dangerous" - most toxic animals such as venomous snakes and spiders are far more likely to discretely get out of your way rather than attack. You probably won't even know they were there.